Who is the Carver?

It's the biggest question in television history since "Who shot JR?"

(By the way, who did shoot JR?)

If you're a fan of Nip/Tuck, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. The identity of the Carver, who has been slicing and raping the 'beautiful' people, will be revealed in the final minutes of the season finale. Damned you, Ryan Murphy, keeping us in suspense until the last moments. Are you afraid that viewers will start tuning out once the Carver is unmasked?

Carver theories, it seems, are much like opinions and assholes: everybody's got one. If you're not a fan of the show, you should probably tune out now. For those of you that stick around and continue reading, here is my theory on the Carver.

At some point, Sean's personality fractured. He has been through a lot these last few years, after all. There was the whole thing with the child molester that ended with him and Christian feeding the child molester to the gators. There was Megan, the breast cancer survivor who ended up dead because of the breast implants that Sean gave her (no, it wasn't that he used silicone and they leaked). Julia engaged in some truly terrifying self-destructive behavior, culminating with her going through a plate glass window. Luckily, Sean and Christian fixed her up. At the end, she tells Sean "It's always been you."

Sean and Julia are now divorced. Does that give you some clue what kind of roller coaster ride this character has been on.

Sean has also learned that his son, Matt, is actually Christian's son. Seems Julia and Christian did the dirty deed right before Sean and Julia's wedding. Matt is 'acting out' and having his own issues since learning that the forbidden love of his life, Ava (who recently left town as part of a deal she made with Sean and Julia) was a post-op transsexual.

Sean leaves McNamara/Troy to be a plastic surgeon for the Witness Protection Program. He falls in love with Nikki and her son. They are in the program and Sean performed their plastic surgery, along with another doctor. Nikki and son take off, leaving Sean all alone once again.

Oops, forgot to mention that Sean dated Kimber for a while. Yes, the very same Kimber that was getting ready to marry Christian when the Carver kidnapped her. In fact, Sean caught Kimber and Christian screwing in a chair in the office.

Next post, I'll explain why everything makes sense when applied to Sean's alternate personality being the Carver.