Adventures in Bush-isms Part II

"Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better."

Considering Canada and Mexico don't actually share a border...

"The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them."

And just how many suicide bombings would be 'just enough?

"One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a...a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone."

I believe that those of us in 'reality' call that a 'charger'.

"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the...in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen."

Not on his watch, anyway.

"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency."

Ah yes, the good old days before war, poverty and idiocy.

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it."

This is America, we should be aiming for 100% success!

"First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country."

Nope, not having anything to do with stuff that makes sense.

"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified."

And I base all my decisions on what the press says, because I'm the President and I don't have time to look that kind of stuff up myself.

"I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president."

Hee hee...I can tell you all to go f**k yourselves because I'm the commander, hee hee.

"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."

What, was Osama bin Ladin a lonely shut-in who formed a terrorist network because no one came to see him and say I love you?

"You see, the Senate wants to take away some of the powers of the administrative branch."

But I'm not going to let them because I am the all-powerful President.

"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure."

???

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself."

And no one has the right to terrorize himself, that's our job.

...To be continued...